Saturday, 10 December 2011

My Chennai

My outings in chennai are painfully limited. Monthly once to the Chennai Central between 4.30 pm to 7.30pm, rarely to adyar to have lunch and city center during the big sale!
Every time i go to the central station, im so exited to be going home! Along with my besties, i bord the 21H ac bus from this far flung place where my college is located. We gossip all the way to the station,almost an hour and if caught in the traffic even 3hours! what happens outside the bus is oblivious!
Once we get to the Parrys bus stand we hog our heads out at some budget restaurant to compensate for all those  "no choice but skip" meals at hostel days. We run to the station just in time to find a berth and sleep our way home.

But when we get back, its an entirely different issue.The train arrives around 5.30am and we sleep walk out of the station with donkeys load of luggage stuffed with home food to last a week, into a taxi that our parents have arranged. ( apparently no risk!). It is usually an indica that picks us up,and once we are seated we invariably go into the "post domestic bliss sadness syndrome" or PDBSS!

The ride back to college takes about 45 to 60 minutes and the Chennai roads are almost empty except for a few outdated 2 wheelers, and animal driven carts. This is when i love chennai the best specially the streach of road along the Marina beach.My FAVOURITE! The taxi covers that streach of road in 3 or 4 minutes.Those 4 minuts sum up Chennai for me.

The beautiful sunrise form depths my eyes just wont reach, the clear sky, the yet to be tainted air ,loads of birds, above all the people who walk the sands! To see men, women, children and animals move together harmoniously gives me a lot of unexplained happiness. Life looks so simple and happy when i see these strange faces walk through the morning.
Old men sitting on the benches reading the newspaper; younger old men with tell tale bellies sweating their heads out; housewives in their 40's walking in groups another set of ladies with serious faces probably discussing about their children..endless possiblities. I most definetly cannot hear them, but you can always know for certain! :)
Romeos lurking and passing comments, calorie concious young girls ignorant to the world but for their i pod, uncles in lungis, aunties in sarees and nike! This place has it all and im in love with it.

All these people are here to walk..just that. Stay fit. Little do they realise that its not the distance or the speed walk that that Kick starts the day for them, But the wonderful art in motion around them, which the expensive treadmills in the privacy of our homes facing the lcd tv jarring the newz just cant provide.Its all about walking and socialising.

There is no other place id want to be but here, early in the morning.A place that symbolises chennai for me.
To be alive is to be awake, and no better place to wake up to than the marina.

The Zip Lock Bag

I was drinking tea this evening, and suddenly i hear the all too familiar sounds, announcing the arrival of the rain...AGAIN. Its been this way for the last three days. RAIN gap rain rain gap sun rain sun wind rain! Its beautiful!.. water bombs that drop down when we least expect , the gloomy sky, the washed clean roads and the leaves that coat it, umberellas all round, flip flops and floaters! its all so beautiful!!!!

But when i see this from my hostel rooms window, all i feel is utter hopelessness. Exams due in 2 months, portions that remain untouched, other students drowning themselves in books, the results, how is it going to be, ""god! what am i going to do!??" (in d most desperate tone)  such thoughts  eat my head every time i want to do nothin but just watch the rain!!

I would trade anything( except a lot things of course!!) to be in a position where id be able to just what i want without feeling guilty, without worrying about the consequences, withouthaving to explain anything to anyone. Now Thats difficult! And im not just talking about the rain here. All of us have some things we desperatly want to do (as long as its legal!) But every time we have an opportunity to do it, there comes an issue of time, people, priorities, and a lot of other pain in the neck!

Most of us have many supressed feeelings, wants,wishes...all thrown into a transparent zip lock bag...Its all before our eyes all the time and like horses we just see what the situation requires us to see, not what we truly want. It migh be something as silly as getting drenched in the rain to wanting to become a radio jockey(thats actually my secret ambition! its no more a secret! :D) writing books( that too), or so many other things. But pitifully, its covered in layers of our inhibition. We still believe, there will come a day when we will be in a position to do all that we wanted...but what about all those wasted years that we hardly lived? 

Every time we ignore the zip lock bag, we are just adding on regrets, regrets that will haunt ever day of our future,. Radio jockey at 70( tough luck)?? a book that gets publishe after im rotten in d grave??THoughts of getting drenched in d rain while dying on pneumonia??  Definetly NO! 

I want to have lived and Be able to recollect something special about every single day. I want to be able to say "been there, done that" (ohh!) and have absolutly no regrets.  Im takin care of my zip lock bag, immediately after my final year exams. Until then Rain, Radio or any other regret stay put!
IM a hypocrit!