I was drinking tea this evening, and suddenly i hear the all too familiar sounds, announcing the arrival of the rain...AGAIN. Its been this way for the last three days. RAIN gap rain rain gap sun rain sun wind rain! Its beautiful!.. water bombs that drop down when we least expect , the gloomy sky, the washed clean roads and the leaves that coat it, umberellas all round, flip flops and floaters! its all so beautiful!!!!
But when i see this from my hostel rooms window, all i feel is utter hopelessness. Exams due in 2 months, portions that remain untouched, other students drowning themselves in books, the results, how is it going to be, ""god! what am i going to do!??" (in d most desperate tone) such thoughts eat my head every time i want to do nothin but just watch the rain!!
I would trade anything( except a lot things of course!!) to be in a position where id be able to just what i want without feeling guilty, without worrying about the consequences, withouthaving to explain anything to anyone. Now Thats difficult! And im not just talking about the rain here. All of us have some things we desperatly want to do (as long as its legal!) But every time we have an opportunity to do it, there comes an issue of time, people, priorities, and a lot of other pain in the neck!
Most of us have many supressed feeelings, wants,wishes...all thrown into a transparent zip lock bag...Its all before our eyes all the time and like horses we just see what the situation requires us to see, not what we truly want. It migh be something as silly as getting drenched in the rain to wanting to become a radio jockey(thats actually my secret ambition! its no more a secret! :D) writing books( that too), or so many other things. But pitifully, its covered in layers of our inhibition. We still believe, there will come a day when we will be in a position to do all that we wanted...but what about all those wasted years that we hardly lived?
Every time we ignore the zip lock bag, we are just adding on regrets, regrets that will haunt ever day of our future,. Radio jockey at 70( tough luck)?? a book that gets publishe after im rotten in d grave??THoughts of getting drenched in d rain while dying on pneumonia?? Definetly NO!
I want to have lived and Be able to recollect something special about every single day. I want to be able to say "been there, done that" (ohh!) and have absolutly no regrets. Im takin care of my zip lock bag, immediately after my final year exams. Until then Rain, Radio or any other regret stay put!
IM a hypocrit!